Store

Welcome to the Noire online store! Here you may purchase all manner of beautiful objects to furnish your empty, futile existence with at least a semblance of meaning. Or you so desparately hope.

Because online stores are difficult to make, we eventually settled for the sort of store where you get to do all the hard work yourself. But really it's very simple: first, if you feel like buying something, pop those items in your cart. Then, select which shipping option you need at the bottom of the page. If you don't select shipping, we can't send your items to you, and that will make absolutely everyone very sad.

If you would like a print of a comic and that print is not here, we can most certainly arrange a one-off printing for you. It'll cost $3 AUD, plus shipping. Email us at noirecomic@gmail.com and tell us what you would like, and with any other problems you may encounter with the shop.

Prints

All prints are on gorgeous 200gsm A4 paper, which is thicker than normal paper and therefore perfect for affixing to walls or even, if one is so inclined, framing. Because some of the comics are not A4-sized, there are wide white borders on the tops and bottoms of the prints. We are happy to lop these off for you at no extra charge, though we think they're pretty. Just tell us in the extra requests field at the PayPal screen.
Four

Do you know of someone who has had a haircut? Do you know of someone who needs a haircut, but have no gracious way to relay this information to them? Never fear, Hat and Vincent are here! Beautifully redrawn from the original comic, this print is perfect for the coifed amongst us.

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Ten

Raphael's favourite Noire! Redrawn from the long-ago original, now featuring even more ennui. When you feel like all your friends are leaving you, don't just stand there, tell them, with a print as hopeless, beautiful and melancholy as you.

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Eleven

We all like chocolates. However, there come times when we do not have chocolates, and these times are spoken of in curses and whispers, and signal the coming of the end of days. To cheer you up when chococlate-related tragedy strikes, Noire recommends this redrawn print, because there are always chocolates in your brain.

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Sixteen

Hat is a pragmatic soul. Not only is he a very fetching item of headgear, he also gives excellent advice to his friends. Of course, what Vincent does not know is that his lost weight is the couch. This print has been gorgreously redrawn, ironically* making Vincent thinner than he was in the original.

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Twenty three

Do you ever feel like the world isn't letting you finish your sentences? Are your journals routinely snatched from your grasp in busy trains? Do telepathic aliens rearrange your thoughts in your sleep? Did you miss most of your classes in year 8 because of the 1997 Anthrax Bee Plague? That's what Hat feels like all the time. Redrawn from the abrupt original, now with more-

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Thirty five

Whether or not you like apples (Hat doesn't) or love, this is a comic for those in favour of taking life by the ruff of the neck, carrying it to a deep and secret den in the woods, and devouring it wholly. Or as they say, vorare diem. See it here, but it is even larger in 'real life'.

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Forty three

Everyone's favourite Noire, available to see here! The love that two Hats feel for one another is a potent love indeed. All we can say is that these two are brimming with love, the sheer unstoppable force of which bowled them over, until they simply hat to go on ahead together.

Oh, and they started a hat band.

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Seventy

Flowers are an important part of the universe. Some of the atoms in your body were once the atoms of flowers. Flowers are foolish and beautiful, transient and fleeting and extraordinary, but one day there may not be any more flowers. That day, it is important, it is so, so important that you remember flowers, because whatever flowers choose to believe, they are not forever, but words are forever, and words are so much more beautiful with flowers. Remember flowers with this print, available to see larger here, but always available to see in flowers if you simply go outside after the rain has stopped.

A4, 200gsm
$1.50 AUD

Posters

Printing a poster is an expensive task, affordable only to the Beatles and those two girls kissing on the bed. So, while we are poor, we can only print posters on 80gsm A2 paper (exactly the same as your regular office paper, but four times as big.) They are nice and big, and look amazing on walls, but they are quite thin. We can ship them to you folded into quarters, or in a mailing tube, which is a little more expensive. Postage options are down the bottom. If you really, really want a poster on good, poster-quality paper, email us at noirecomic@gmail.com and we will see what we can do.
Flowers

A never-before seen or available design! You may recognise the flower from this comic, but you will not recognise the words from anywhere except that tiny, quiet place inside your heart where all the fragile things hide. Looks beautiful on a wall.

A2, 80gsm
$5.00 AUD

Shipping

We don't like shipping either. If you want to build a teleporter and give it to us for free, you are most welcome. Just know that we don't charge any more for postage than it costs us.
Standard local delivery (within Australia)

Average delivery time is a few days. This is the shipping price for a number of prints or folded posters - so you should get many at the same time!

$1.40 AUD

Express local delivery (within Australia)

Average delivery time is two working days or less, including but not limited to recieving it two hours before you make the order. This is the shipping price for a number of prints or folded posters as long as they all fit into an envelope.

$5.90 AUD

International delivery

Average delivery time is 2 weeks, but could easily take up to a month, especially if you give your address as 'Under A Rock, Canadia, Earth'. Depending on how many prints you order, postage may be more expensive - if you come up short, we'll email you asking politely for two more dollars.

$4.30 AUD

Poster tube

The bonus of a poster tube is twofold. Firstly, your poster will be beautifully uncreased when you recieve it, barring falling rubble or iceberg, and secondly, you'll have a great big cardboard tube with which to whack people/make cardboard donuts/a periscope/add to your treefort/even post a poster to someone. The price includes the extra postage cost because cardboard tubes are heavy.

$5.00 AUD

Thank you kindly for looking at our store! Tell your friends, except those that hate Noire because that is not very helpful!